Not a Victory March
by Falling April
Summary: [HarrietSuzanne] Harriet tries to get over Matt, and Suzanne helps in her own quiet way. [Oneshot]


**Dedication:** for **Aubrey**, because she asked, and because she's my everything.  
**Spoilers:** Only if you don't know Matt and Harriet are broken up. Which would mean you've never seen the show EVER, so what the hell are you doing reading fic for it, anyway?  
**Disclaimer:** Not Sorkin. Get over it. Nor am I Leonard Cohen.

_Now I've heard there was a secret chord  
That David played, and it pleased the Lord  
But you don't really care for music, do you?  
It goes like this  
The fourth, the fifth  
The minor fall, the major lift  
The baffled king composing Hallelujah_

"Matt, could you just leave it for _one minute_?"

"You're the one who brought up the breakup!" Matt practically yelled, throwing his hands up. Harriet whirled on him.

"Could you keep it _down_?" she hissed. "I just _mentioned_ the breakup. _You're_ the one who insisted on going off on a diatribe about how I shouldn't have sung the National Anthem on--"

"That's just the tip of the iceberg, Harry!" Matt interrupted.

"I don't _care_, Matthew!" Harriet pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to fight back a headache. There was no reasoning with Matt about things like this, and she _knew_ that, but she couldn't stop herself from trying. "I don't want to argue about this right now. I have to change." She turned and closed herself into her dressing room There was nothing she could do to change his mind. He'd have to stop bringing it up sooner or later, now that they were working together. Except that Harriet knew Matt too well to think he'd drop the subject willingly any time soon.

She sighed, sat down at her dressing table, and cried softly.

_Your faith was strong but you needed proof  
You saw her bathing on the roof  
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you  
She tied you  
To a kitchen chair  
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair  
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah_

Harriet waited until the building grew quiet, knowing Danny would have dragged Matt out to the wrap party. She couldn't go tonight - it was too tense, she was too upset. She couldn't hear anyone moving around outside, so she let herself out into the empty corridor outside her dressing room and headed towards the exit. She cut through the studio to save time, and to see if the lights in Matt's office were on. They were, she saw, but she couldn't tell if he was actually there, or--

"He's not here." Harriet squeaked, surprised by the voice, and turned quickly to find the source. The only other person in the room, who Harriet hadn't noticed before, was a young blonde woman sitting in the first row of seats.

"Suzanne," she sighed, pressing her hand to her chest, "you scared me."

"Sorry," Suzanne smiled sheepishly. "I just figured, you were looking up at his office... he forgot to turn the lights out. I'll do that before I go home."

"What are you still doing here?" Harriet asked. "Shouldn't you be at the wrap party? Or home?"

"Shouldn't _you_ be at the wrap party?" Suzanne asked pointedly, raising her eyebrows. Harriet tried not to get flustered.

"Well, I just... wasn't in the mood..."

"It's peaceful in here, when everyone's gone," Suzanne said, rather unexpectedly answering Harriet's question. Harriet stopped trying to make excuses, and tilted her head slightly, curiously. "You can... you can almost _feel_ the history," Suzanne continued. "It's like... if you're quiet enough, you'll hear the echoes of shows that happened before any of us were here." Harriet looked around, listened carefully. All she could hear was her breathing and her heartbeat, far too loud in her ears. "You... want to listen with me?" Suzanne's tentative voice sounded positively booming in the silence. Harriet hesitated. She wanted to go home, to take a long hot bath and pray and forget about Matt. But she didn't really feel like being alone just yet.

"Sure." She smiled and sat down next to Suzanne, who flushed, startled that the comedienne had actually taken her up on the offer. "Do I have to do anything special?"

"N-no, not really," Suzanne shook her head, not quite meeting Harriet's eyes, tugging on her fingers as her hands lay in her lap. "You just... close your eyes, breathe slowly, and... listen." She demonstrated, and Harriet just watched her for a moment, wondering at the beauty of someone believing in something bigger than them. Then she closed her eyes, breathed slowly, and listened. She heard nothing for a long time. Just as she was about to say something, she heard Suzanne shift in her seat and felt a pair of soft lips press against hers.

It was her imagination, she knew that, but in that moment, she could've sworn she heard the ghost of an echo of joyous laughter.

_You say I took the name in vain  
I don't even know the name  
But if I did, well really, what's it to you?  
There's a blaze of light  
In every word  
It doesn't matter which you heard  
The holy or the broken Hallelujah_

"Harry, _talk_ to me. Please?"

"I _can't_, Matt." She sighed. Ran a hand through her hair. "You can't just keep _antagonizing_ me and expect me to want to talk to you!"

"I'm not!" Matt protested, sounding a little hurt. "I'm just... I'm trying to apologize, Harry." He reached out and grabbed her hand, earnestly trying to meet her eyes. Harriet couldn't quite do it. "I don't want to fight with you."

"No, you don't." She looked down at their hands. "You want to get back together, though." She could feel him stiffen, tense up, as if waiting for something. She didn't know if he was afraid she'd kiss him or walk away.

"Yeah," he said reluctantly. "Yeah, I do."

"Oh, Matthew..." She felt like crying, almost, because he was so sweet, and so earnest, and so _wonderful_, and she'd loved him once. She'd loved him very much. But it was too late, a couple of months too late, maybe even only a couple of weeks too late. She couldn't love him anymore, not like that. "I _can't_..."

_I did my best, it wasn't much  
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch  
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you  
And even though  
It all went wrong  
I'll stand before the Lord of Song  
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah_

Suzanne was waiting for her when she came out of her dressing room after the show. She looked lovely, Harriet thought, in a dark blue dress she'd decided to wear to the wrap party. And the way she lit up when she noticed Harriet made Harriet's heart tug oddly. She couldn't tell if it was love or regret, but she didn't really have time to wonder before Suzanne came over and grabbed her hand, dropping a quick kiss on her cheek. "Ready to go?"

"Let's not go to the wrap party tonight," Harriet said impulsively, smiling widely. It didn't quite reach her eyes - with her eyes, she begged Suzanne to understand what she couldn't say.

And Suzanne saw that, and understood. Or maybe she was just laid back and willing to do whatever Harriet wanted. Regardless of the reasons, she just nodded and smiled understandingly. "Dinner, then. It'll be fun."

"Thank you," Harriet said, smiling gratefully. Suzanne just smiled back and led her out of the building. They cut through the studio, as usual, and Harriet glanced up at Matt's office out of habit. Usually she let her gaze linger for a moment, but tonight she looked away quickly.

She would have to work hard to forget the figure standing in the window watching them leave.

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah_


End file.
